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Kim Jong-un explains missile test failure “happens to every guy and is not a big deal”

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Kim Jong-un has explained that his failed missile test happens to every guy, is not a big deal and says nothing about his masculinity.

The notorious world leader, whose titles include: Chairman of the Worker’s Party of Korea, Chairman of the Central Military Commission, Chairman of the National Defence Commission, Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army and Presidium Member of the Politburo Standing Committee of the Worker’s Party of Korea, is also definitely not using a series of grandiose nicknames to overcompensate for his lack of performance.

A spokesperson for the Korean People’s Army explained: “It was a big occasion. It was his birthday, he’s under pressure at work, what with that Trump douchebag gunning for his job, he may have had a few, and frankly he was just nervous. It happens to everyone, just ask the Iranians.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” said the spokesperson of the third failed missile test in the last year.

“To be honest, we were aiming for it to go south, but not like this.”

Concept by John Gibbs

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for The Now Show, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz and The Daily Mash. Sara crushes Wotsits into a fine powder before eating the remnants with her face (or with a teaspoon, in polite company).