Health & Fitness

How to get bikini body ready for when we all live underwater

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Summer is nearly here – and the great news is, it’s going to be here for a long, long time. Probably forever, thanks to one guy’s lousy holiday to France.

Of course, we’re going to have to say goodbye to things like the polar ice caps and dry land, but who needs that rubbish when life can be one long, relentless pool party?
Here’s how to get bikini body for your new life under the sea:

1. Get swimming

Not only is it great exercise, but you’re going to need to be a bloody great swimmer when the entire planet is underwater and that’ll be the only way to get around.

2. Work on that fake tan

Your sunbathing days are numbered – pretty soon, UV rays are going to be so powerful that catching a few rays will leave you totally charred. Not a sexy look. Bright orange skin is totally on trend this season, so take advantage and get slathering (just make sure it’s waterproof).

3. Think about your diet

It’s a given that you should get used to eating a lot of fish (think about all that Omega-3) and seaweed, but why not also give kelp and plankton a go? We’re predicting these low-cal snacks will become mighty popular in the new age of total submersion.

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for Dead Ringers and the News Quiz. Sara crushes Wotsits into a fine powder before eating the remnants with her face (or with a teaspoon in polite company).