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Awkward! Men’s rights activist discovers men already have rights

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A Peacehaven man and self-described men’s rights activist feels like ‘a right numpty’ after discovering that men actually already have quite a lot of rights.

“It’s all very embarrassing,” revealed Dan Stewart, 34. “I thought we were marching for the vote. Turns out, we already had it! I should probably start voting.”

“Then I looked into it some more and found out that we also already get paid the same as women,” he explained. “More, even. I totally got the wrong end of the stick from that Beyoncé song.”

“I mean, women are still doing offensive things like waving their tits around in public and then bunging a baby in the way just to make it feel weird when we look, but I’m not sure that’s worth getting out of bed before 10am on a Sunday for.”

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for Dead Ringers, The News Quiz and The Daily Mash. Sara crushes Wotsits into a fine powder before eating the remnants with her face (or with a teaspoon, in polite company).