Love & sex

How to seem aloof and unattainable by pretending to be his distant relative

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Everyone knows men are super into unattainable women – and what could be less attainable than an actual blood relative? Here’s how to really drive him wild by making him think you’re his long-lost third cousin.

Learn his family tree

Naturally, he might have some questions like “sorry whose daughter are you again?” and “do I even have an aunt Maureen?” To avoid any embarrassing moments, memorise his entire family tree so you can recite it on command.

Constantly point out how much you look alike

Not only will this reinforce how unavailable you are to him, but it will appeal to his male ego.

Be casual with your reveal

One day, when you’re hanging out, just calmly drop into conversation that you might not be family after all. Silly you! Your mistake! Don’t worry, by then he’ll be so into you that he’ll be totally relieved, if anything.
Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for The Now Show, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz and The Daily Mash. Sara crushes Wotsits into a fine powder before eating the remnants with her face (or with a teaspoon, in polite company).