Lifestyle

Claudia 90% sure she turned her hair straighteners off

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A Basildon woman is said to have been “pretty sure” she turned off her GHDs, but has nevertheless allowed the small, niggling doubt to ruin her night out.

“I’m, like, 90% sure I turned them off,” explained Claudia Andrews, 23, “I remember thinking ‘I should probably turn these off’, but I don’t remember actually doing it.”

“And even if I did turn them off, did I unplug them?” Mused Claudia. “What if I left them plugged in, and my cat, Mitzi, accidentally turned them back on?”

“Even if I didn’t turn them off, it should be fine, right?” Claudia asked. “They’ll probably have some safety thingy that stops the house from burning down. But then there was that episode of Friends where Rachel’s straighteners started that fire… no… I’m being silly. That’s TV. It’s not like I left the stove on!”

“Oh God, did I leave the stove on?”

Claudia went on to reassure herself that, in the event of a fire, a neighbour would probably call her, but then could not remember whether or not her neighbours had her phone number.

“I’d better go home and check,” concluded Claudia. “The last fifteen times this happened, everything was fine, but that just means I’m overdue a disaster.”

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for Dead Ringers, The News Quiz and The Daily Mash. Sara crushes Wotsits into a fine powder before eating the remnants with her face (or with a teaspoon, in polite company).