Catriona finally discovers which fruit she is based on her TV preferences

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A York woman who spent her evening taking online quizzes to make life-altering discoveries about herself, such as which fruit she is based on TV shows she’s never seen, is perfectly happy with how she’s using her time.

“To be honest, I don’t really like fruit,” admitted Catriona Adams, 28. “Also, I don’t watch a lot of TV. I just really like clicking on stuff.”

“Turns out I’m a pineapple,” continued Catriona. “I wasn’t thrilled with the result, so I re-took the quiz until I got the only fruit I actually like, which is a grape.”

Catriona’s evening continued on a thrilling upwards trajectory, as she took further quizzes such as “how many Taylor Swifts am I holding up?” “is your cat a cat or a dog person?” and “which Friends character is your vagina?”

A friend of Catriona’s, Louise Smith, said: “We actually invited Catriona out last night, but she said she had too much work on.”

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for The Now Show, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and The Mash Report. Sara makes it her business to be at least five years behind the latest trends, so she can devote more time to her Tamagotchi.