Beauty

Beauty inspo! Five bold lipsticks to buy this winter and never wear

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This season isn’t just about the bold lip; it’s about buying an outlandish colour, convincing yourself you can rock it, putting it to the bottom of your makeup bag and defaulting to your old tub of rose vaseline.

Here are our top picks of colours that will make you say “I could definitely wear this, right?”:

Blue

Nothing says “I have an undiagnosed circulatory problem” quite like it. Buy it, realise you are going to meet your conservative mother-in-law for lunch, opt for something more subdued instead, and repeat this cycle until you die, at which point you can achieve the look naturally.

Gold

A shimmering gold lip is perfect for applying just before the christmas party, changing your mind, wiping off and having to redo half of your makeup. A real gold-leaf finish can make you not only look, but also cost, a million dollars.

Beige

Your carpet, your walls and your love life are this colour, so why not extend it to your lips? Beige is the perfect shade to let your lips do the talking, if what you want them to say is “Sorry Nigel, those documents will be with you a little bit later than planned as I had to call a man about the central heating.” For lips that look like they were purchased at a DFS sale, beige is your secret weapon.

Purple

This can be a subtle, or as out there, as you want. If you can’t find a purple lipstick in your shade, why not drink a heavy Pinot noir with your breakfast for that perfect ‘devil may care’ matte-stained finish? Complete this bad-girl look by turning up to work in your pyjamas. Or, even better, not at all.

Green

Even your edgy friend with the septum piercing who keeps snakes wouldn’t wear this and you know you won’t. Stop kidding yourself, Kelly.

Emma Plowright

Emma Plowright is a comedian and veterinary student. She is not only self-absorbed and narcissistic, but also wonderful. When she's not neglecting her collection of succulent plants, Emma improvises with the Cambridge Impronauts, and is the co-founder of Stockings, an inclusive, all-female comedy troupe.