Lifestyle

How to phase out your toxic friend Sophie, who insists on giving you sensible advice, rather than just supporting all your increasingly poor life choices

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Most of us have a Sophie in our lives. One of those obnoxiously supportive friends who insists on giving us sensible advice, rather than just blindly validating every self-destructive decision we insist on making.

Sophie will say annoying stuff like “maybe it’s not a good idea to keep pulling sickies while you’re still on probation,” and “you need to stop pursuing unavailable men” and “babe, don’t put that up your nose, remember what happened last time?”

It’s like jeez, can’t you just back off and let me be me?

You need to start removing yourself from those sorts of toxic friendships and, instead, surround yourself with people like Becky. Becky understands that the problems in your life are never really your fault, and can be relied on for priceless words of wisdom like “haters gonna hate, babe” and “tell them to shove their job up their arse” and “TEQUILA!”

While Sophie expects you to take responsibility for your actions, real friends like Becky will be there for you unconditionally, or at least until last orders…  or until they disappear into an Uber with that bloke from ‘Spoons.

Sure, Becky won’t be around the next day when you sleep through your alarm and miss another  job interview, but it’s better that enduring another one of Sophie’s “I just hate watching you waste your potential” speeches. Who needs that sort of negative energy?

Billie Cooper

"Your daughter shows an aptitude for reading and writing, but can get wriggly during carpet time" was what Billie Cooper's year two teacher wrote on her report card back in 1997. In her 26-year existence, no combination of words have gotten closer to articulating the essence of Billie's soul.