Are you really procrastinating at your best?

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As the old saying goes: why do today what you can do… some other time? Are your procrastination techniques getting a little rusty? Have you achieved just a little too much today? Our handy guide will help you unleash your true potential, and get you completing no tasks in no time!

You never produce your best work “with time to spare”

Got an essay to write? Deadlines are a surefire way to ensure your work is of the highest possible quality. Sure, you might not sleep that night and you’ll probably sweat a bucket, but trust us, all that extra stress is worth it. Now where’s the remote…?

Always blag it

You could prepare for that presentation you’ve got tomorrow, but you could also open a bottle of wine and talk to your flatmates. Let’s face it, the second option is much more fun! Why panic when you probably have all the info you need in your head already? Forget the grind; drink the wine. It’ll be fine.

Listen to your body

This one is actually science. We’re always being told that we should listen more to our bodies, and, as we know, our brain is a very important part of our body. If our brain is telling us that we don’t want to book that dentist appointment, but we do want to check our social media channels, it goes without saying we should listen to the grey stuff.

Try procrastinating productively

This one really is for experts only, so please do not attempt if you’re not a pro procrastinator. Incredibly, this technique allows you to get other stuff done with minimal effort, without even meaning to! Interview first thing? Pair your socks instead. Weekly phone call with the parents? Get the hoover out. Need to work on your CV? Alphabetise your CD collection. It takes years of practice, but it can change lives.

So next time you’re stuck in a procrastination rut, follow these simple tips and you’ll be off topic in no time!

Olivia Phipps

Olivia works as a freelance something-or-other in TV comedy, and has made tea on some of the very best (and utter worst) shows on telly. She also does bits and pieces for the British Comedy Guide and the Comedian’s Comedian Podcast. She hopes that her writing will have more clarity than this bio.