Beauty

Five updos that will give you a migraine by 2pm

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Wearing your hair loose can be a real chore. It gets in the way of important things like eyes and food, and prevents you from feeling that cranial ache you’ve grown to know and love.

Tying your hair up can give you a fresh look that reflects your productivity, power and persistence. Or if it’s just unwashed, disguise the filth. Here are five easy updos that will have you tearing your hair out, both figuratively and literally.

1) THE HIGH PONYTAIL

You were never a cheerleader, so why not live out that teenage Bring It On fantasy with a severe, highly scraped-back pony that will give your scalp a stretch worthy of a floor routine?

2) HALF-UP, HALF-DOWN

Ideal for the indecisive, a great gateway to an updo is to only bother doing half of it. Don’t worry about which sections of hair to put up and which to leave down, because you’ll be ripping most of it out when you try to remove it anyway. 

3) A BOUFFANT

Channel Amy Winehouse with a simple, voluminous look that will definitely result in your hairbrush getting stuck when you attempt the backcombing.

4) THE MESSY BUN

Chic, trendy and Instagram-worthy, the messy bun is a go to for updo fans everywhere. Twizzled into a perfectly tangled mess, you won’t be able to adjust it without starting all over again, so get used to that unevenly distributed ache.

5) THE LOW PONYTAIL

Thought the high ponytail was a bit too much? This low-sitting alternative will definitely not pull as much, as the base is much lower on your head. Just kidding! Somehow with this look, gravity has increased, and now your hair is being yanked like a scarf in a train door. Perfect.

Jodie Irvine

Jodie is a writer and improviser who also works in telly. She has the stature of a child and loves having it pointed out to her by people she doesn't know very well. Jodie was voted "funniest girl in the year" in 2010 and has been riding that high ever since.