Opinion

Eight reactions to baby photos that will trick people into thinking you don’t think they all look the same

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Baby fever! Not for you, of course, but for everyone around you, apparently. Responding to other people’s baby news can be a real minefield when you feel indifferent about the little squirmers, so here are eight reactions to try that will have your new parent buddies believing you feel… well, anything at all.

“OH, CUTE!”

A firm favourite, the “oh, cute” is an easy go-to reaction that’s as bland as your true feelings.

START CLAPPING

A nice round of applause is the ultimate show of achievement. Be careful to choose the right tempo though, as too slow of a clap could appear sarcastic, and could give you away.

“WOW”

Serve some Owen Wilson realness with a simple “wow.” It suggests admiration with a slight edge of appalled horror, which, in this situation, is the perfect balance.

TELL THEM IT LOOKS LIKE THEM

Telling a new parent their baby looks like them is an easy crowd pleaser. Be sure to keep it to a simple “they look just like you,” however, and keep that follow up of “if you had a much squishier and more spherical head” to yourself.

TAKE THE PHOTO FOR A CLOSER LOOK

Grab that phone or photo out of their hand and bring it closer to your face, showing enthusiasm for seeing the baby in more detail. As well as allowing the parent to see you care, this will also give you an opportunity to check for any even slightly distinguishable features.

SAY “YOU DID IT”

Profound and accurate, this simple statement will show the parent you’re impressed with their ability to keep a baby alive, and have unprotected sex.

AFFECTIONATE EYE CONTACT

After looking at the photo, try staring back at the parent with a strong, affectionate gaze that alludes to a feeling of admiration.

“AWW, OH MY GOD, STOP!”

No really, stop.

Jodie Irvine

Jodie is a writer and improviser who also works in telly. She has the stature of a child and loves having it pointed out to her by people she doesn't know very well. Jodie was voted "funniest girl in the year" in 2010 and has been riding that high ever since.