Sarah totally fine about holding everyone’s bags at theme park

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An unlucky member of a hen party visiting Thorpe Park has said she is “completely fine” about forgoing rides to hold the bags.

“I didn’t want to go on Nemesis anyway,” claimed Sarah Briggs, 28, surrounded by 15 other women as part of ‘Fiona’s Foxy Hen Do 2018’.

The party, mainly comprised of old school friends, had planned to visit the theme park to relive their youth. As we know, any group of kids needs a mum to look after the stuff, and this time, it was left to Sarah.

“They just sort of dumped their bags and ran to the queue as soon as we got in,” explained Sarah. “I’m sure it was a harmless joke.”

Sarah had told the others to leave their bags in the minibus, but was ignored at the time. “They were all too excited. Plus, the only advice the park had given was ‘try not to bring bags’ – what kind of advice is that?”

At one point, two of the group returned to Sarah with an enormous cuddly Minion toy they’d won at the arcade. Despite now being unable to move independently, and the two women leaving almost immediately, Sarah held steady.

“Honestly, it’s fine. I’m not that bothered.”

On Facebook the day before, Sarah had posted that she had been looking forward to giving Stealth another try, after failing to pluck up the courage on her last visit over 10 years ago.

“It’s fine. I imagine we’ll take turns throughout the day anyway,” she said, surrounded by over 18 bags, coats and an oversized plush Minion. “It’s good that they’re enjoying themselves.”

Olivia Phipps

Olivia works as a freelance something-or-other in TV comedy, and has made tea on some of the very best (and utter worst) shows on telly. She also does bits and pieces for the British Comedy Guide and the Comedian’s Comedian Podcast. She hopes that her writing will have more clarity than this bio.