Health & Fitness

Woman who managed to convert entire family to veganism needs new way to inconvenience them

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A Nottinghamshire woman has been left with a hollow sense of dissatisfaction after successfully convincing all of her immediate family to change to a vegan diet.

Sarah Matthews, 26, has been vegan for over a year, initially to the distaste of her family.

“People get really upset about it. It’s not like I’m shoving my views down their throats, like the foie gras industry shoves food down the throats of innocent geese,” she explained, wearing a PETA hat and ‘I do not eat my friends’ slogan T-shirt.

“I went cold turkey, or as I like to say, cold Tofurky.”

“It was a bit of a shock, but we soon adapted,” said Sarah’s mother, Sheila Matthews, 57. “It’s easy enough for me to cook at home and local restaurants are very good. Sarah always likes to go through each individual menu item with the waiter though, just to be safe. Apparently lots of things can have animal residue in: wine, fries, tap water. It’s a good thing that the part-time 16-year-old workers are so knowledgable about the sourcing of their products.”

When the family were together for a recent birthday celebration, Sarah insisted that, instead of watching Barney’s Great Adventure like the birthday girl wanted, they all watch What the Health, followed by Blackfish and some undercover slaughterhouse surveillance.

“After seeing that, I was a changed girl,” said Eva-May Matthews, whose seventh birthday it was. “I threw my jelly, which I now know contains the pain of many animals, into the fireplace shouting ‘meat is murder’.”

“The whole family was in agreement,” added Sheila. “It’s a shame it was a gas fire, but the principle stood. We all pledged to convert there and then.”

When asked how she felt about having successfully spread her message, Sarah was quiet and contemplative. “I think I might start eating meat again,” she said, thoughtfully. “It’s very important to challenge people’s norms.”
Emma Plowright

Emma Plowright is a comedian and veterinary student. She is not only self-absorbed and narcissistic, but also wonderful. When she's not neglecting her collection of succulent plants, Emma improvises with the Cambridge Impronauts, and is the co-founder of Stockings, an inclusive, all-female comedy troupe.