Mandy only one who thinks “that dream she had” is “really weird”

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A Lancaster woman was deeply disappointed to discover that her friends and family did not share her view that “that dream she had” was “really weird.”

Mandy Norton, 24, awoke from her dream “totally pumped” to tell her nearest and dearest all about the bizarre visions that her amazing subconscious had conjured up as she slept.

“The first thing I did was wake up my girlfriend, Ashleigh,” explained Mandy, “because I knew she’d immediately want to hear all about my weird dream, where I was a golf caddy for ’90s pop star, Kavana. I mean, that’s pretty niche stuff, who wouldn’t be interested in that? You can imagine my confusion, then, when Ashleigh grumbled something about it being five in the morning and just went back to sleep. What the hell was her problem?”

“After that deflating experience, I got up and went to brunch with my friends,” Mandy recalled, “I was so sure they would be more supportive and excited for me, but sadly that wasn’t the case.”

Mandy’s friend, Shauna Henderson, 25, and fellow brunch attendee said: “I don’t get why Mandy was so fixated on this dream. She told us this whole long story about golf caddying for Kavana, feeding ducks at night and something to do with red ribbon… I don’t know, I stopped listening after a while because it was just her regurgitating all of her random brain shit at us.”

Shauna added: “We didn’t mean to come off as unsupportive but it just genuinely seemed like a bunch of inane crap and we had better things to talk about. I know that Sarah was really pumped to announce her engagement and, to be honest, my poached egg was going cold. Who wants to eat cold egg?”

Mandy’s girlfriend, Ashleigh Reid, 23, said: “If her dream was actually really that weird, it might have piqued my interest, but to be fair, it just sounded like a mash up of stuff we’d seen on TV that day, like a classic Top of the Pops rerun and a news item about Donald Trump playing golf.”

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for The Now Show, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and The Mash Report. Sara makes it her business to be at least five years behind the latest trends, so she can devote more time to her Tamagotchi.