Health & Fitness

UK now comprised of more yoga teachers than yoga students

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A recent survey has revealed that there are currently more yoga teachers than people looking to learn yoga in the UK.

“I feel bereft” explained Louise Smith, a recently qualified yoga teacher. “All my potential customers are even better yoga teachers than I am.”

Yogi and entrepreneur, Sally McSween, has cleverly started a business which teaches teachers to teach teachers, after noticing a gap in the overcrowded yoga market: “I noticed my local vegan café was full of out-of-work yoga teachers, and started a course for them to teach other teachers. No one is actually learning anything new, but I’m rolling in cash and have been able to buy loads more overpriced organic yoga pants in the last three months.”

Police have had an increase in reports of harassment in suburbs, where desperate yoga teachers have been hounding potential customers with aggressive door-to-door sales tactics.

Michael Davies from Ipswich explained: “I get more yoga leaflets than fast food flyers through the front door. On my way to work the other day, I stopped at a red traffic light and was surrounded by people doing sun salutations, then knocking on my windscreen asking for money.”

Predictions suggest that, at the current growth rate, over 50% of London could be comprised of fully qualified yoga teachers by 2022.

Jessica Brooks

Jessica Brooks lives in Leeds and works for a digital arts charity. She also writes, acts and has recently been trying her hand at stand-up comedy, but should probably stop.