Love & sex

Who is she? Three pictures of your boyfriend with unexplained women from his ‘night out with the lads’

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You know what it’s like. Your boyfriend goes on a night out with the lads because he hasn’t seen them in ages, and apparently you’re not enough for him.

When pressed, he said he had a nice, sexless, time, but he’s just been tagged in a bunch of pics from Fever with other women who aren’t you. Mutiny. Surely, you cry, surely they must be men then? Nope. We’ve done some extensive analysis and they’re literally just women that were on his night out. And we’ve got some questions for them.

Unexplained Woman One:

gpointstudio / Shutterstock.com

Who’s this one then? Does she know about the “lads only” policy? Is she confused about playing pool? Does she not know where to aim the cue?  We can let that slide if she genuinely doesn’t have eyes, but from the picture we’re pretty sure she does. Just saying.

Unexplained Woman Two:

Jacob Lund / Shutterstock.com

Did she buy him that beer? You could buy him beer if he wanted beer. Did he want a beer so badly that he’d befriend a stranger? Why is she laughing so hard? Maybe she’s screaming out for help. What’s he showing her on his phone? It better be a picture of you. “What a lovely girlfriend I’ve got” he’s explaining to everyone at the table. Or at least, he better be.

Unexplained Woman Three:

Pressmaster / Shutterstock.com

This one’s a bit harder to spot, because the club is dark, but there’s definitely two women here. Perhaps your boyfriend tried to inform them of the “lads only” policy, but the club was a bit loud so they didn’t hear him properly, so they just kept on having a nice time. They’ll feel so silly in the morning when they realise they breached the rules of his lads night out.

You’ll have to come with him on the next one. Just to make sure everyone hears him properly.

Kat Sadler

Kat Sadler is a comedian, writer and ball of anxiety. She's written for a whole bunch of stuff like Frankie Boyle's New World Order, The Mash Report, The News Quiz and The Now Show and The Daily Mash. She's currently the contract writer for BBC Studios comedy. She's here for a long time, not a good time. Check out her sad little blog here