Love & sex

Why a potential Scrubs reunion is a good enough excuse to text your ex tonight

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Ol’ JD is getting the gang back together! I mean, it’s not confirmed or anything (yet!) but don’t let that stop you acting in the same spirit. If Zach Braff and Donald Faison can reportedly let bygones be bygones, you can definitely text Ryan tonight with all of your unfiltered feelings.

Who could forget all those fun times at Sacred Heart hospital? That pesky Dr Cox who was a dick to patients because of his alcohol addiction. That quirky cleaner who hated everyone and acted so unprofessionally. That dead dog in the apartment. All of these memories are relevant to your relationship, which ended in tears six months and four days ago.

It’s a sign! You used to love watching Scrubs together and you will love watching it again, should the reunion not just be yet another false dawn. You’re probably wondering what to text him, to defibrillate his heart back into your affection. There are options of course:


Pretty standard Scrubs reference here, wouldn’t recommend it as that’s probably what his other exes are plumping for at this exact moment. Also, he might read it and think that he is being warned about an eagle attack, which would put him on the fast train to soft town.

Fancy an Appletini?

JD’s beverage of choice, of course, bound to get his memory jogging. This one may backfire, as you don’t know what an Appletini is, nor how to make one.

The lyrics to the chorus of Lazlo Bane’s song, ‘Superman’

Ultimately your best option, the one to get him from A&E to Yes & Please, is to text him the chorus to the theme tune from your favourite show, one sweet line at a time. If you don’t believe us, see for yourself!

Cameron Loxdale

Cameron is a comedy writer and producer who has written for Newsjack and The Leak, plus a bunch of sketches, podcasts and shorts. His name is an anagram of Relaxed Cool Man, despite him being barely one out of three. The irony of a straight white man offering hot feminist takes is lost on him and it refuses to ask for directions.