How to dress for the job you told that guy doing a survey on the street you do

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That man who just stopped you in the street to ask you if you wanted to help change a child’s life has literally no idea what you do for a living. What better way is there to get started on that dream career of yours than by telling a complete stranger in the street that you’re actually the CEO of Vogue?

Having read Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret, you’ll understand the critical importance of the power of positive thinking in order to achieve your goals. Sometimes, thinking positively means pretending you’re a completely different person. Go with it.

The thing is, in order to be believable, you’ve got to dress the part. That bearded man with a clipboard has a lot of questions for you, and by golly, you’d better have the answers. Even if he does seem more concerned with this bullshit charity he keeps talking about.

Costume is key in convincing this man desperately trying to get you to donate £4 a month to sick children that you’re a young urban professional. We’re talking fancy shoes, a blazer, perhaps even a tie if you want to be business convincing, or one of those wigs lawyers wear. If you want to be a real trailblazer, go for all of the above in combination.

Now, street surveys take place literally at any moment in the outside world, so you’ll need to dress the part at all times. This is a small price to pay for your dream career. You’ve got to commit to the imaginary job you have. And who knows? Maybe your imaginary job might give you an imaginary promotion.

The world is your oyster in the land of career make believe. You’ve just got to dress like one.

Kat Sadler

Kat is a comedian, writer and mentally unwell bisexual. She's written for a whole bunch of shows like Frankie Boyle's New World Order, The Mash Report, The Jonathan Ross Show, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and her own stuff too, thanks for asking. Check out her sad little blog here