Couple who “thought about eloping” didn’t want to miss once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to massively inconvenience loved ones

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An engaged couple who told all their friends they “seriously considered eloping” decided, on balance, not to miss out on their one chance to disrupt their loved ones’ lives and significantly lower their bank balances.

Selina Gordon, 28, and Andy Fisher, 31, eschewed an intimate, no-frills ceremony for two on a small Greek island in favour of a large knees up in a barn in Essex.

“I seriously thought about running off, just the two of us,” admitted Selina, “but then we thought it would be really selfish to deprive our friends of sharing in our joy by buying expensive outfits, coughing up £550 for a weekend hen party in Magaluf, paying for travel, accommodation and babysitters, and then, of course, giving us more money as a gift.”

“We asked for the money using a jaunty little poem,” explained Andy, “just to make it even more exciting for them. I did wonder if we were being too selfless, but it’s worth the sacrifice.”

“If it were up to us, we’d totally disappear somewhere and just come back married,” laughed Selina, “we really don’t want a fuss, but, faced with the option of having nobody there, or 250 of our closest friends, what could we do? It was one or the other, and we wanted to be fair to people.”

“It’s a pay bar,” added Andy, “so people will also have the privilege of buying our drinks all night.”

“They’re totally welcome.”

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for The Now Show, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and The Mash Report. Sara makes it her business to be at least five years behind the latest trends, so she can devote more time to her Tamagotchi.