Five adorable high street dresses to squeeze half a boob into

Summer’s here, and it’s time to show some skin, get a tan – if you’ve got it, flaunt it! Here are five teeny weeny high street dresses that’ll make the sales assistant at H&M say “is everything alright in there?”

Tiered sundress

Sporting two miniature triangles of fabric, intended to cover two adult female breasts. Was that the sound of ripping stitches you heard? Or the sound of uncontainable joy?

Bandeau dress

It’s like a blindfold – for your boobs! Step one – successfully get the garment over your head.

Cold shoulder dress

An adorable 2017 trend that’ll have you helplessly searching Bravissimo for a strapless bra that comes in a 38FF.

Deep plunge back dress

Who knew there were so many body parts to feel paranoid about. The dress that’ll have you asking “does my back look weird in this?”

Halter neck mini dress

Your perfect excuse to treat yourself to a lovely massage – after carrying the full weight of your boobs around your neck all day.