Netflix subscription lapse results in ‘illegal streaming site and chill’

A fall in the number of people watching Netflix has given way to a new trend: ‘illegal streaming site and chill’.

“When I lost my job, I still wanted to use the genius, original pick up line, ‘Netflix and chill’, but I couldn’t afford my Netflix subscription,” explained Mark Kenton, 28, from Reading. “I feared that my  lack of quality televisual content and now lacklustre flirting would impact my success with the ladies.”

Many like Mark have been turning to illegal streaming sites to create the illusion of Netflixing and chilling. As a chat up line, it is just as successful. (Both have a success rate with women of 5.3%, research has concluded.)

Some have even reported pop-up ads heightening their overall experience.

Cassie Lowe, 24, said: “It’s all part of the fun. Who knows when the screen will shout ‘single models in your area’. Just builds up the suspense you know? Though my boyfriend can get a bit distracted.”

Some people have felt it makes the ‘chill session’ less special and can take away the spontaneity.

Amy Morris, 26, said: “When I want to do the naughties, I don’t want to have to wait 20 minutes for Orange is the New Black to load. Buffering is the newest and most profound evil of our generation.”

Of course, what has remained constant, is that the phrase can still be used synonymously for “fancy a fuck?”