Awkward! Men’s rights activist discovers men already have rights

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A Peacehaven man and self-described men’s rights activist feels like ‘a right numpty’ after discovering that men actually already have quite a lot of rights.

“It’s all very embarrassing,” revealed Dan Stewart, 34. “I thought we were marching for the vote. Turns out, we already had it! I should probably start voting.”

“Then I looked into it some more and found out that we also already get paid the same as women,” he explained. “More, even. I totally got the wrong end of the stick from that Beyoncé song.”

“I mean, women are still doing offensive things like waving their tits around in public and then bunging a baby in the way just to make it feel weird when we look, but I’m not sure that’s worth getting out of bed before 10am on a Sunday for.”

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for The Now Show, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and The Mash Report. Sara makes it her business to be at least five years behind the latest trends, so she can devote more time to her Tamagotchi.