Work Christmas party actually not as wild as that one rogue Wednesday in March

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In a furniture sales office in Wiltshire, the gossip mill is buzzing after this year’s Christmas party. But two women from product management can’t help thinking it didn’t quite measure up to that time things got a bit mad on a Wednesday last March.

“Sure they booked a venue, but in March, Gemma and Simon got BFF tattoos and threw up in a bin,” shrugged Tanya Burns, 24.

Gemma Addams, 26, continued: “It looked like it would just be a quick one, but suddenly it just snowballed until we were screaming ‘Livin’ On a Prayer’ from the top deck of HMS Belfast. I just didn’t think drinks and nibbles had the same vibe.”

“I feel kind of bad because Helen really made an effort with the decorations this year, but you can’t beat the magic of trying to finding somewhere open past 3am on a weekday.”

Tanya agreed. “We just gave up and made a nest in the middle of the road. I braided Sue from sales’ hair as we lay in the gutter and counted the stars. She told me things she’d never told anyone else before. She… she told me she loved me.”

When asked for comment, Sue’s hand twitched unconsciously towards a battered hair scrunchie on her desk. “I don’t recall that,” she murmured. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

While Gary in strategic chair management keeps talking about how nice it was to get to know people better, there’s nothing that really binds you like a blood pact, say office members of The Hallowed Order of March 21st.

“I suppose they did organise Ubers home for everyone, but last March, I commando crawled to the bus pretending I was a crocodile. I bit a policeman’s ankles, but, like, in a friendly way,” snapped Tanya.

“And Simon locked himself on a one-way cargo ferry to Qingdao, so I don’t really know how they can top that.”

Gemma nodded. “The amazing thing was that we were all in the next day. Well, except for Simon. Wonder what happened to him.”

Harriet Cartledge

Harriet is a #twitterprofessional who tweets once every six months, so you know it'll be good. Once she did stand up, and now she won't stop talking about it.