Woman apologises to friend for telling her off for apologising

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A Greenwich woman has issued a heartfelt apology to a friend just moments after sharply telling her to stop apologising all the time.

“Louise is always apologising for herself,” explained Marina Bunch, 25. “It’s really bad for feminism when she does that, so when she apologised to me for not being able to remember how many sugars I take in my tea, I told her to pack it in.”

“Of course, she immediately apologised for apologising, which made me feel really bad,” continued Marina, “maybe it came out harsher than I intended, so I apologised.”

Louise Dart, 23, said: “I felt awful when Marina apologised to me after she was just trying to help me to stop apologising all the time. Of course, I apologised straight away, which made her apologise right back.”

Louise and Marina then fell into an infinite apology loop, with both women insisting they were at fault.

“To be honest, the words have lost all meaning,” admitted Marina. “I really want to go home and take a shower, maybe see my cat, who I hope is still alive, but I don’t want to be the first one to stop apologising – that’d just be another thing to apologise for.”

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for The Now Show, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and The Mash Report. Sara makes it her business to be at least five years behind the latest trends, so she can devote more time to her Tamagotchi.