Male stripper roundly mothered on hen night

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A male stripper has been roundly mothered whilst working at a hen night in Swindon this weekend.

Marlon Kane, 22, turned up at Jenny Wallace’s pre-hen night drinking session hoping to be treated like some sort of sex God, only to find himself being offered numerous cups of tea and some sound advice on which university course he should actually be doing.

“Don’t get me wrong, he was lovely and very handsome,” explained Jenny, 36, “but I am technically, and I can’t stress technically enough here, technically old enough to be his mum.”

“And my mum’s old enough to be his nan.”

“That didn’t stop her shoving a fiver into his jockstrap when he got here, but she had been drinking Baileys since two in the afternoon, so I’ll let her off with that.”

Marlon admitted: “That job’s really got me thinking if studying fine art is really what I want to do with my life.”

Adam Baird

Adam is a regular contributor to The Daily Mash, having written over 500 stories for them in the last three years. He can also do a pretty much spot-on John Lennon impression. His formal education stops at 'Unfinished BTEC in Performing Arts.'