Amy’s plan to “make a fortune lifestyle blogging” thwarted by it not being 10 years ago

An Oxford woman’s plan to make her millions as a lifestyle blogger has hit a bump in the road due to it not being 2008.

“I’ve been in my job in sales for a while now,” explained Amy Woods, 32, “and I think I’m just stagnating there, you know? I really want to be my own boss, mostly so my promotions won’t be performance based anymore.”

“I remembered a friend from school, Lauren, started a lifestyle blog a few years back, and now she’s earning six figures,” continued Amy. “This is the same friend who put her hand up in a history lesson to ask why Israel didn’t just get out of Pakistan’s land, so I figured if she could do it, it must be really easy.”

Amy quit her job, got a nice WordPress template, put some Google ads on it and did a post about statement wallpaper. She then waited for the likes to roll in, but it never happened.

“My mum commented to ask if I was going to apply for a new job, but unfortunately, that doesn’t translate to cold, hard cash,” lamented Amy.

Lauren Simons, Amy’s friend from school, explained: “First of all, it takes years to build up a proper following, but also the market is completely oversaturated now and it’s pretty much impossible to become a professional blogger. I wish Amy had just asked me a few questions before she decided to quit her job. I hope she has some savings and a good reference.”

Amy was last seen hunched over her laptop, refreshing her WordPress stats and muttering “any minute now.”