Woman squeezes into Superdry jacket to prove she’s still “got it”

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A Balham woman has spoken of an overwhelming sense of achievement after finally squeezing into a Superdry jacket.

Jenna Ross, 28, who can normally be found browsing the rails of Next, admitted it was an impulse buy after a boozy lunch with the considerably younger office intern.

“I didn’t go looking for it” Jenna explained. “If I’m honest, I usually buy clothes with a more relaxed fit, but when I saw that cool black jacket with pink fluro Japanese writing on it, I just really wanted to be part of something, you know?”

Despite buying the largest size in the shop, Jenna conceded that the jacket was probably not designed to fit a normal-sized adult woman.

“I dieted for three months and am over the moon to have finally got both shoulders in at once,” she gushed.  However, disaster was narrowly averted when she managed to stop herself high fiving her reflection, which would have resulted in her ripping the tiny sleeve clean off.

So, what does the future hold for Jenna and her Superdry jacket? “It’s very early days, but I would like to be able to zip it up, at some point,” said Jenna. “Only then will I be able to seriously consider leaving the house in it. I’m not judging them but I don’t want to be one of those women who wear their Superdry jacket scrunched up around their waists. It’s just not my style.”

Unfortunately, our chat with Jenna had to be cut short because she fainted. Her beloved Superdry jacket proved just too tight for her, and in a cruel twist of fate, had to be surgically removed to restore normal circulation.

Tiffany Richards

Tiffany's two aims in life are to make people laugh and not to swear so much. She thinks her 50% success rate is f*****g amazing!