Erotic! Scheduled sex is the best, confirm married people

Married people have insisted that pre-arranged sex with no spontaneity at all and diary checking involved is actually deeply erotic.

Due to their busy lives, Sarah and Steven Arthur, 27 and 29 respectively, have a strict lovemaking schedule, which appears in their shared calendar under the code name ‘Barry White’.

“It’s all well and good being one of those hot young couples who can’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off,” said Sarah. “But you can’t compare raging, hormonal lust with the sexy, sexy challenge of getting your engine revving from, and I can’t stress this enough, absolutely nothing.”

“I think there’s nothing more arousing than coming in from work after a long, exhausting day, and then forcing yourself to find the person whose skid marks are still lingering in the toilet bowl attractive.”

Steven agreed: “I think it’s just the knowledge all day that it’s definitely on that night, no question, because it’s in the calendar. The pressure to want it makes it all the more enticing.”

“Anyway, Sarah and I have just had our fortnightly roll in the hay, so we’ve got two whole weeks of anticipation now. Neither of us can wait.”