Woman uses KeepCup once, becomes Gaia, Mother of All Creation

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Customers of a north London Pret-a-Manger were stunned on Monday morning at the sight of a woman literally transforming into the Earth Goddess Gaia after using her newly purchased KeepCup for the first time.

Eyewitness accounts state that soon after receiving her drink in a quirky pink and blue KeepCup, Shona Maguire, 26, spontaneously sprouted all manner of flora and became one with the life energy of the Earth. Some patrons claimed she ordered a flat white with coconut milk, others insist it was a turmeric latte. The sad fact is we may never know.

Shona’s friends have been left confused by her recent transformation.

“It’s a bit of a shock, yeah,” said Abigail Quinn, 27. “She wasn’t particularly environmentally conscious before now. At uni, she would just keep buying plastic plates and cutlery from Lidl just to avoid having to wash up, so her becoming a physical manifestation of the planet Earth is a bit off brand, honestly.”

Work colleagues, however, say there were signs Shona was beginning to adopt a more eco-friendly outlook.

“Well, she shared an article on Facebook about the sea being full of plastic,” explained colleague Rita Madwell, 34. “Looking back now, I suppose the next logical step is becoming a living embodiment of all life.”

Shona was last spotted headed towards a Whole Foods in west London. Residents are advised to keep their distance and avoid eye contact, lest they endure a forty minute explanation of how GMOs “aren’t real food”.

Emma Moran

Emma Moran is a writer and comedian who makes a living producing videos for the internet. Her work has previously been described as "witty", "fun" and "a cause for concern". She currently lives in London, sharing an apartment with two flatmates and some persistent damp.