Foolproof! Millennials discover pension loophole by just straight up dying before the age of 65

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Millennials, stressed about their ability to save money for retirement, have banded together and discovered that if they just succumb to the sweet release of death before the age of 65, they could save thousands of pounds!

While some of their peers toss and turn at night over the idea of growing old and infirm under the hellish nightmare of late stage capitalism, a hefty bunch of Millennials have embraced the life hack of premature death and left their worries behind them in the process.

Penny Lawson, 24, a retail assistant, discovered the loophole early last year and says she has never felt more relaxed about  looming financial apocalypse.

She said, “I used to be quite anxious about money and the future, but now I’ve joined the death cult, I feel great!”

Robin Anders, 28, the originator of the hack, first posted on Reddit, is fairly humble about his discovery. He explained, “I mean, if you look at history, it’s nothing new. Before modern medicine, most people died before the age of forty. There’s so much wisdom in the past if you choose to see it.”

The idea is not just popular amongst the under 35’s. The loophole has been widely praised by the establishment press and academic circles as a way for Millennials to save money and reduce the surplus population.

However, not all Millennials have embraced this common sense approach, with many complaining about drawbacks of the loophole such as “not being alive anymore”. While this writer hates to jump on the Millennial-bashing bandwagon, she has to admit this does reek of the entitlement critics see as the major character fault of this generation.

Emma Moran

Emma Moran is a writer and comedian who makes a living producing videos for the internet. Her work has previously been described as "witty", "fun" and "a cause for concern". She currently lives in London, sharing an apartment with two flatmates and some persistent damp.