Friend on digital detox actually just dropped phone down toilet

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Friends were relieved to discover that a friend who they thought had turned away from social media following a digital detox had actually just dropped her phone into the toilet mid text.

Nicole Wilson, 22, vanished from social media for 48 hours, and at the time her friends didn’t register that this is the amount of time that it takes for all the moisture to me osmotically pulled out of a Samsung Galaxy S4 by Basmati rice.

“We were worried she had been kidnapped at first,” said her friend Ellen, in reference to the fact that she hadn’t posted the daily Instagram story of her morning granola. She continued, “but then we remembered she posted a picture of her book haul the other day and it included a copy of ‘How To Break Up With Your Phone’.

When friends had just resigned themselves to the fact they may never communicate with her again, they saw a Facebook update that simply read, ‘sorry for the silence, phone went for a swim’ followed by a toilet emoji and a frankly unwarranted four laughing faces.

Speaking out about the incident, Nicole was quick to clarify events, “yes, I do own ‘How To Break Up With Your Phone’, but I have got to it yet, as I’m still reading a novelty book about unicorns and gin that someone bought me for my birthday.

“I was just multitasking- texting and weeing- what can I say, I’m a driven woman.”

She then sighed and added, “now I’ve lost all my contacts and I’ve got no side dish for tonight’s curry”

Laurie Plowright

Laurie Plowright is a comedian and veterinary student. She is not only self-absorbed and narcissistic, but also wonderful. When she's not neglecting her collection of succulent plants, Laurie improvises with the Cambridge Impronauts, and is the co-founder of Stockings, an inclusive, all-female comedy troupe.