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Feminism win! This man has no problem with a woman putting on makeup on the train, so long as she just bloody smiled more when she did it, and cheered up love, it might never happen

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Hooray! Great strides have been made for feminism today as businessman Richard Holdsbrook, 61 from Broxbourne, has revealed that he has absolutely no problem with women putting makeup on whilst on the train, so long as they “just bloomin’ smiled more” when they did it.

Heralded as an incredible gift to women everywhere, Richard explained, “I barely even retch when I see a bare faced woman on the train, and I actively don’t say anything when she starts putting that lady shit on her face. I guess you could say I’m a modern feminist icon.”

However, Richard then went on to add, “I do have an issue with them walking around with their sad or grumpy faces all the time though. What have they got to be grumpy about? They’re lovely, beautiful women. They don’t need to be looking like that, with their nice women faces.”

“That’s why whenever I’m on a train, I make it my mission to tell them that they’re pretty and should let their faces show that more often.”

Even when they’ve got headphones in or disgusting all the other men in the carriage by putting on their makeup, I’ll alert them to how they should always be smiling. I’m just doing my bit!”

An incredible man, an incredible story. Thank goodness for men like Richard. Isn’t it useful to have feedback on how we should exist in public spaces? Without it we’d have no idea how to exist at all.

Kat Sadler

Kat Sadler is a comedian, writer and ball of anxiety. She's written for a whole bunch of stuff like Frankie Boyle's New World Order, The Mash Report, The News Quiz and The Now Show and The Daily Mash. She's currently the contract writer for BBC Studios comedy. She's here for a long time, not a good time. Check out her sad little blog here