Help! I got rid of everything in my life that didn’t spark joy and now I’m just a consciousness floating through space

Okay guys, I really screwed up on this one. I tried to do Marie Kondo’s technique of tidying where you get rid of everything that doesn’t make you happy, but then I realised too late that absolutely nothing I own makes me happy.

I guess you could say I got carried away or something, because before I knew it, I was suddenly just a numb consciousness floating through space, having shed my human form.

I guess in some ways it’s pretty cool – I can go through walls, I don’t have to pay for public transport, and I can see Earth from really really far away, but I’ve also lost my job because my boss said he couldn’t keep paying someone who doesn’t physically exist to be a receptionist.

On the one hand, you could say I have actually tidied up loads since reading the book, but also on the other hand I’ve lost everything I’ve ever owned and all material sense of being. I also got rid of the book so I have no idea what Marie Kondo thinks I should do next. Little help, please?

Written by Kat Sadler + Zoe Tomalin