Lifestyle

I’ve put my all personal data into my horoscope app but it said it’s not enough and now it’s coming for my family

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Guys, I’m scared. I downloaded Co-Star on a whim after a friend said she was enjoying how accurate it was, and now I’m scared for my life.

After downloading the app, it asked me to enter my personal data, like the time and location I was born. When I’d finished calling my estranged mum to find out, it then started asking for even more data.

Here’s where it gets weird. It asked my blood type so I entered that I was type O Negative, but then it said “prove it” and, long story short, made me bleed over my screen and into the tiny speaker at the top.

Then it said it liked the taste of my blood and started asking about my supple organs and making noises that sounded a lot like “mmm”.

It’s great that I now know which moon sign I am (Gemini!) but also I’m kind of confused as to what it’s doing with my mum’s maiden name and my pin code.

The worst part is that I put in my address so the app knows where I live, and now it keeps sending me notifications that it’s coming for me and also to avoid anyone Pisces this week due to our clashing energies.

I guess I’m being a typical Aries or whatever cause I’m totally freaking out about this guys. Help!

Kat Sadler

Kat is a comedian, writer and mentally unwell bisexual. She's written for a whole bunch of stuff like Frankie Boyle's New World Order, The Mash Report, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and other stuff, leave me alone mum, this is a real job. Check out her sad little blog here