Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing men with bad takes about Adele’s weight loss?

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There comes a time in a woman’s life where she reaches a crossroads: should she abandon hope of trying to get through to brain dead morons on twitter, or should she keep trying? 

“It started with just replying to a few men who had commented on the original article,” explained Jessica, 27. “I couldn’t help myself. The takes were so bad I felt like I had to step in and someone had to argue with them. I didn’t realise that would be me, but it’s lockdown and I have some free time, so here we are.”

Jessica continued, “Then it just got worse and worse. I tried to explain that the whole thing is none of their business, but that seemed to anger them more. It’s like the more you tell men that something is none of their business, it suddenly becomes a top priority, and they convert their twitter into a bad take machine.”

“I watched one man turn his entire twitter feed into a string of takes so bad it genuinely read like if Piers Morgan had written a spoken word poem.”

“It’s like you can’t even say internalised fatphobia without one of them kicking off and attempting to set fire to the rain.”

Headline collab between Jodie Irvine + Kat Sadler

Succubus Magazine

This article was a collaboration between two or more of our in-house writers.