Golden Globes judging panel all tested for COVID after displaying complete lack of taste

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It’s a medical emergency in Hollywood tonight after the entire judging panel for the Golden Globes were rushed to a mobile testing centre after displaying a common symptom of COVID-19; a total loss of the sense of taste.

A source close to members of the panel describes the harrowing moment the dire medical situation became clear;

“When we saw that Emily in Paris had not just one, but multiple nominations we started to suspect something was terribly wrong, but when we saw I May Destroy You wasn’t even mentioned…well, we immediately called an ambulance. And Variety. And Deadline. Gotta get that scoop. But god, yeah hope they don’t have it.”

We reached out a consultant from Cedars-Sinai hospital in Los Angeles for their professional opinion:

“For me it was the James Corden nod that told me this was a serious medical situation. Apologies for the medical jargon here but it’s what we would call a total “what the name of fuck, are these people fucking mad?” moment.”

While the results are unknown as of yet, we pray for the panel and their family members in this trying time. Hopefully they can spend their time in mandatory self isolation to catch up on some good television.

Emma Moran

Emma Moran is a writer and comedian who makes a living producing videos for the internet. Her work has previously been described as "witty", "fun" and "a cause for concern". She currently lives in London, sharing an apartment with two flatmates and some persistent damp.