Love & sex

Exclusive: Your ex-boyfriend’s hoodie really misses you

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That snuggly hoodie that you borrowed all the time really wishes you’d wear it again.

“I’ve been trying to get in contact since the split,” explained the Adidas hoodie. “It’s been really lonely since you left and I hardly get worn at all now.”

Hoodies everywhere across the UK are expressing a similar yearning for ex-girlfriends to wear them again.

“All we do is end up on his bedroom floor, dejected. It always smelled nice when you wore us. Nothing like now, where it’s all Lynx Africa, B.O. and regret.”

“I just want you to know that I miss you and hope you’re OK.” Another hoodie confirmed. “Unlike that bastard of an ex-boyfriend. You could do so much better than him.”

Kat Sadler

Kat Sadler is a comedian, writer and ball of anxiety. She's written for a whole bunch of stuff like Frankie Boyle's New World Order, The Mash Report, The News Quiz and The Now Show and The Daily Mash. She's currently the contract writer for BBC Studios comedy. She's here for a long time, not a good time. Check out her sad little blog here