Love & sex

Exclusive: Your ex-boyfriend’s hoodie really misses you

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That snuggly hoodie that you borrowed all the time really wishes you’d wear it again.

“I’ve been trying to get in contact since the split,” explained the Adidas hoodie. “It’s been really lonely since you left and I hardly get worn at all now.”

Hoodies everywhere across the UK are expressing a similar yearning for ex-girlfriends to wear them again.

“All we do is end up on his bedroom floor, dejected. It always smelled nice when you wore us. Nothing like now, where it’s all Lynx Africa, B.O. and regret.”

“I just want you to know that I miss you and hope you’re OK.” Another hoodie confirmed. “Unlike that bastard of an ex-boyfriend. You could do so much better than him.”

Kat Sadler is a comedian, writer and blogger. Kat is young at heart, but she's also wise beyond her years. Unfortunately the two cancel each other out so she's actually neither. She also writes for The Daily Mash. She blogs here