Love & sex

Nice date ends with pretty encouraging hug

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A date in Cardiff has ended amicably with a hug described as “pretty encouraging.”

Matt Wells, 25, and Beth Evans, 23, spent a mildly enjoyable evening together in Pizza Express.

“I think I really like her,” explained Matt. “It’s so rare that I feel this way about a person, so when I do, I really try to make it count. I don’t want to rush things, I care too much about her to do that. I don’t just want to jump into bed with her, that doesn’t interest me, I want to get to know her more as a person. I know we’ve only been on a couple of dates, but this just feels right.”

At one point Matt made a Peep Show reference that Beth didn’t recognise, but she laughed anyway to be polite.

“I have so much in common with Beth, it’s just unbelievable! We both love the same music, we’re both left-handed. We both love Peep Show. It’s early days, but I can honestly say I’ve never made a connection like this. I can’t stop thinking about her”

Beth checked her phone on four occasions throughout the meal, despite establishing the first time that she had no reception or wifi.

“Beth is special. It’s rare that people even take an interest in me, but my self-esteem has markedly improved during these few dates. I really love spending time with her, I feel like I’m growing as a person just by being with her. At the end of a truly magical evening, it seemed right to kiss her, but unfortunately my cowardice prevailed and the moment passed.”

After bolt-locking the door of her flat for the first time, Beth took an uncustomary shower before bed.

“I feel confident that this is the start of something really special.”

Beth Evans declined to comment.

Cameron Loxdale

Cameron is a comedy writer and producer who has written for Newsjack and The Leak, plus a bunch of sketches, podcasts and shorts. His name is an anagram of Relaxed Cool Man, despite him being barely one out of three. The irony of a straight white man offering hot feminist takes is lost on him and it refuses to ask for directions.