Best friend in office barely qualifies as acquaintance in real world

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Studies have confirmed that your best friend from the office is barely somebody you would nod at on the street in real life.

“I befriended Megan in the office because she was the only one remotely close to my age” said Jessica Parker, 24. “We have literally nothing in common beyond that.”

“I’ve seen her every single day I’ve worked here for the last two years. She knows more about my dietary and bowel habits than my close family,” continued Jessica. “But I don’t think I would say hi to her if I bumped into her in Tesco Express after work.” She said, before pausing to think, and concluding: “absolutely not.”

Megan Knowell, 27, said, “I look forward to seeing Jessica every day at work. She’s become a really close friend. That’s really nice, when work friends become family.”

When asked about whether Megan would see Jessica outside of work, she said: “Christ no, what am I, a psycho? Just because she’s my best friend at work doesn’t mean she’s got any redeemable qualities beyond that. I actually think she’s pretty insufferable.”

Both girls then made plans to go for drinks on Friday night, which neither of them will attend.

Kat Sadler

Kat is a comedian, writer and mentally unwell bisexual. She's written for a whole bunch of shows like Frankie Boyle's New World Order, The Mash Report, The Jonathan Ross Show, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and her own stuff too, thanks for asking. Check out her sad little blog here