‘Shopaholic’ friend actually just rich

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An Islington woman and self-confessed ‘shopaholic’ is actually just incredibly rich.

28-year-old Sandra Reynolds’ behaviour on a recent shopping trip included, but was not limited to, drinking two cocktails with lunch that weren’t on a 2-4-1 offer and buying a jumper without first using online banking to check her card wouldn’t get declined.

“She kept picking up everything on the Bobbi Brown counter in John Lewis, saying, ‘I just can’t resist’,” explained best friend Tanya Lewis, 27.

“I also like nice things,” said Tanya, who managed to resist on account of the fact that if she didn’t she wouldn’t be able to feed her cat.

“You just have to treat yourself sometimes,” exclaimed Sandra, oblivious to the fact that everyone she was talking to was financially unable to do so.

“I used to think she had a problem,” confessed Tanya. “She always referred to herself as a ‘shopaholic’ and I thought she was confiding in me about a genuine addiction. Then I remembered, she has a perfect life and a non-addictive personality but just really likes buying luxury items with all the disposable income she has since paying off her mortgage.”

“Shopping is just how I de-stress. Everyone needs some down time,” explained Sandra, who has no other hobbies, as she couldn’t find any that were expensive enough.
Laurie Plowright

Laurie Plowright is a comedian and veterinary student. She is not only self-absorbed and narcissistic, but also wonderful. When she's not neglecting her collection of succulent plants, Laurie improvises with the Cambridge Impronauts, and is the co-founder of Stockings, an inclusive, all-female comedy troupe.