Hollywood exclusive! Kylie Jenner’s lips spark teen allergic reaction trend

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Hollywood: where the world’s most fitness-obsessed people take twenty minutes to drive what would have just been a five-minute walk without traffic. Here to tell us what really goes on behind the scenes is our Hollywood correspondent, Sara Scully.

Kylie Jenner’s gigantic lips are no longer sealed! Seemingly overnight, the youngest Kardashian’s barely-there lips inflated like Donald Trump’s ego after the 2016 election. The Internet has been swirling with rumors for months. Does she overdraw her lip liner? Is it lip injections? Is her head just shrinking?!?

Thousands of eager tweens and their miserable parents stood in line for hours at Kylie Cosmetics at the Westfield Topanga Mall to purchase the gloss they’ll apply up to their noses to achieve Kylie’s trout pout.

“I don’t really understand it. My daughter wants me to shell out a lot of money to look like an anime character. I tried explaining that Kylie has millions of dollars to spend on injecting plastic into her lips, but here we are,” expressed frustrated mother Allison Baum, 38, of Sherman Oaks.

However, on last week’s episode of Life of Kylie, the reality star dropped a bomb bigger than Russia’s “Satan” missile. “My lips swelled one night after eating crab at Nobu. I started garnering positive attention about my voluptuous lips, but it was really just an allergic reaction. I started Kylie Cosmetics, so even poor girls can get my look without having to eat at Nobu.”

The admission has led to an even more worrying trend among her fan base. Concerned father Rick Boucher, 44, of Woodland Hills, reached out to us after his twelve-year old was caught with swollen lips.

“My daughter all of a sudden asked me to take her to the allergy doctor to find out what she’s allergic to. I thought it was mature of her to be that concerned about her health at twelve years old. We found out she’s allergic to pineapple, and a few days later, I found a can of Dole pineapple chunks under her bed. I mean, I sniffed Sharpies to get high, but this is next-level stupid.”

The spike in severe peanut allergies over the last few years, which has been a cause of bullying for those who suffer, is now the hottest allergy to have. Mr. Peanut has even upgraded to a Gucci top hat and diamond encrusted monocle, with peanut sales skyrocketing over the last week.

If you suspect your child is having a self-induced allergic reaction, please call 911. And probably a therapist.

Sara Scully

Sara is an aspiring comedy writer living in Los Angeles. Originally from Connecticut, she's completely embraced the Angeleno lifestyle - spending 3/4 of her life in traffic and paying stupid amounts of money for pressed juice. With an affinity for gangsta rap and Persian cats, she describes herself as “if Cher Horowitz had a baby with the Wu-Tang Clan."