Scientists invent range of tights that your leg hair can’t poke through

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After three years of gruelling research, scientists have finally developed a new range of tights that do not allow any leg hair to poke through at all.

“We combined a very tightly weaved material and brand new SharkSkin technology to mean that nothing from stubble to a full winter’s growth will be visible,” says Tony Adams, one of the leading scientists on the project. “We think this is the perfect product for the everywoman who cares about her outward appearance while also being a bit of hairy slob underneath.”

Scientists started developing the technology in 2015 when one of their garment techs,  Bojana Ilic, had a Eureka moment considering shark skin after watching Blue Planet. “Sharks have dermal scales which push the water down their bodies,” said Ilic. “The SharkSkin technology on the inside of the tights does the same with hairs but up your legs as you put them on.”

“We are freeing women from the tyranny of hair removal through the colder months,” said Mr Adams.

On launch day, we caught up with Mary MacArthur, who was queuing to be the first person to buy them.

“It’s just so exciting!” She said, “It’ll be great to have two layers of insulation through the winter: the tights, and my leg hair, and no one’s any the wiser! Annie from accounting won’t be able to pull stray hairs on my legs as a joke anymore!”

Isabelle Farah

Isabelle is a British-Lebanese actress, comedian, and writer. Hobbies include pretending to like really highbrow conversation and playing Heads Up.