Quiz: Is that yoga? Or are you just sitting on the floor and crying?

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You’re sitting down, your legs are splayed and tears are seeping out of your eyes – but are you doing yoga, or are you just sitting on the floor and crying? Take this fool-proof quiz to determine whether yoga is giving you the feels or you’re just a cry-guy with an emotional connection to the floor.


You’re sitting on the floor in a yoga class. Are you crying?

A) A few tears leaked out when you did the happy baby, but that’s just because it’s a hip-opening pose proven to create an emotional reaction. Stop staring and focus on your downward facing dog, Linda!

B) Since when were you in a yoga class? You don’t remember getting here. You probably wandered in blindly through your tears and sat down on the nearest available mat.

C) Um, maybe? You cry when you feel like it, but keep it low-key in public.


You’re sitting on the floor at home. Are you crying?

A) Your face is damp but you’re following a spiritual thirty-day yoga journey on YouTube and are delving deep into your seven chakras. It’s a totally natural human response and you’re certainly not thinking about your beloved cat that died three years ago.

B) Obviously. This is where you come to cry. Guided tours are available, but visitors are advised to bring their own tissues.

C) Um, maybe, if you’ve just watched Love Actually. This is a safe space.


You’re sitting on the floor in McDonalds at 3am. Are you crying?

A) Your eyes are streaming, but your body is a temple and McDonalds is a great place to practise a vinyasa. It’s definitely not because the spotty teen behind the counter messed up your order and a horrible drunk man keeps throwing fries at you.

B) Duh. You’re officially in hell. You’re only doing what any sane person would do.

C) Um, maybe, it’s been a long night but some chicken nuggets will probably sort you out. Where does yoga come into this?


Mostly As – it’s yoga but you’re in denial. Top tip: get over yourself and have a real ugly cry.

Mostly Bs – you’re sitting on the floor and crying and have never heard of yoga. Top tip: don’t restrict crying to sitting on the floor – the bed’s great too!

Mostly Cs – sometimes it’s yoga and sometimes you’re sitting on the floor and crying. Top tip: tell everyone your secret, you’re doing crying right.

Briony Puddepha

Briony is a writer who thinks it's funny to set most of her screenplays on the toilet. She is a regular contributor for the feminist magazine Cinegirl, and wrote and starred in the comedy web-series Live With It, leading her to be deemed 'disturbing' and 'inappropriate' by her family members. One day she aspires to be adult enough to invest in a proper desk chair.