Woman faces industrial action after breaking £5 secret Santa limit like a scab

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A festive office party has devolved into contentious legal talks after Molly in Comms blatantly undercut the £5 secret Santa limit by gifting a bottle of Yellow Tail shiraz and a full size milk tray, making everyone else look like poor idiots.

Talks are currently underway to bar Molly Halliday, 31, from future Secret Santas in order to preserve the £5 limit that previous generations of employees have collectively bargained for.

Staff at the small North London printing firm were vocal in their dismissal of Ms. Halliday’s actions.  Jon H, a marketing assistant, was enraged by the lack of solidarity;

“I mean, it was bad enough when we saw the Yellow Tail come out the bag. That’s a good 6.99 by itself. Janine said she once saw it on offer in Sainsbury’s for £5.60 but by that stage the damage was done. But the Milk Tray? Unforgivable”.

The staff consulted a forensic accountant who valued the offending gift at a hefty £12.65, almost three times the legal limit.

Speculation on motive is rife, but a source within the office has told us that the recipient of the illegal gift was a Mrs. Owens, who just so happens to be Ms. Halliday’s line manager.

“I’m not saying she was being an arse licker but let’s just say we suspect some arse-lickery was involved”.

Ms Halliday herself denies she was in fact the giver of the expensive gift;

“It’s called Secret Santa for a reason. They can’t actually prove it was me. And anyway is it so wrong for someone to give a nice gift? If you say yes then it’s pretty clear that you’re a communist.”

Talks are set to continue well into the New Year.

Emma Moran

Emma Moran is a writer and comedian who makes a living producing videos for the internet. Her work has previously been described as "witty", "fun" and "a cause for concern". She currently lives in London, sharing an apartment with two flatmates and some persistent damp.