Women urged to send nudes to bras during Coronavirus to remind them boobs exist

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Coronavirus has presented a monumental challenge for almost every aspect of society. But while you’re stuck at home getting through your fifth season of Gilmore Girls in four days, please spare a thought for the nation’s neglected bras.

Experts say bras could forget what boobs are during the unprecedented time they will be spending not being used by housebound women. Without constant boob to bra contact, bras are beginning to re-wild themselves and lose their memory of mammaries.

Catherine Baldrick, a lingerie biologist at the University of Auckland explains;

“Bras are not naturally accustomed to human titties, it is only through centuries of constant, irritating contact that we’ve tamed them to our will. But with no social pressure to wear a bra while at home, bras have been starved of human contact for months. Should these bras be suddenly reacquainted with a pair of big naturals once the lockdown ends, we anticipate a large number of spooked, distressed, and to be honest, semi feral bras”

Charities have recommended showing regular nudes to your bras, or perhaps topless face timing with a friends bras to remind them of the presence of honkers.

The same charities also stress that this advice should be directed at cup sizes A-C, as larger cup sizes will likely be subject to the same everyday usage even under lockdown conditions. May we all pray for our big busted sisters in this trying time.

Emma Moran

Emma Moran is a writer and comedian who makes a living producing videos for the internet. Her work has previously been described as "witty", "fun" and "a cause for concern". She currently lives in London, sharing an apartment with two flatmates and some persistent damp.