Love & sex

Boyfriend not leaving you, just the situation

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Being dumped is never easy, but put that Kleenex box away, because it turns out, it’s not you your boyfriend wants to get away from, it’s just the situation you’re in – by which we mean you being his girlfriend.

Your (now ex – sorry, you’ve got to get used to it at some point) boyfriend thinks you’re an amazing person, just not one he wants to spend any more time with.

He really wishes things were different, but this situation is just not what he wants – and by situation, he means being in any kind of meaningful contact with you.

It’s absolutely not personal. It has nothing to do with the 57 consecutive messages you sent him the other day, and he definitely hasn’t noticed that one of your boobs is half a cup size smaller than the other (mini me).

He’d definitely hang out with you under different circumstances. Like, he’d take you out for a beer. But not now, because that would be weird.

He honestly wouldn’t want to be in this ‘loving relationship’ situation with anyone, apart from the next woman with whom he happens to fall into the same situation. He can’t help that. The heart wants want it wants. And it turns out, it doesn’t want you this situation.

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for Dead Ringers, The News Quiz and The Daily Mash. Sara crushes Wotsits into a fine powder before eating the remnants with her face (or with a teaspoon, in polite company).