Lifestyle

Woman who claims scrapbooking is “more fulfilling than sharing your whole life online” won’t stop showing people her fucking scrapbook

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With the rise of social media, some lament the loss of traditional photo albums, but not one Liverpool woman, who is scrapbooking every element of her profoundly uninteresting life.

“It’s great to get offline and live authentically in the now by hoarding huge amounts of paper,” explained Lilly Albright, 25.

“And for true authenticity, I take all my photos on a film camera. With film, you only get one chance to capture the moment, then it’s gone. Except for every time I insist someone looks at the photo in my scrapbook.”

“Instagram is totally fake because it only shows a curated view of one’s life,” Lilly added, while burning the negatives of photos that caught her from her bad side.

As well as photos, Lilly also collects ticket stubs, magazine clippings, and printouts of her favourite gifs.

Lilly’s best friend, Erin Clapham, 27, said: “It’s great that Lilly is keeping a physical record of her life, but there are only so many times I can pretend to be interested in the train ticket she used to get to Reading for a conference.”

“A scrapbook is very personal, and while Lilly’s use of My Little Pony stickers to accessorise a receipt for sliced bread and loo roll is innovative, looking at it makes me wish for the end of human civilization.”

“Aside from anything else, it’s getting a bit creepy just how much stuff she’s collecting,” Erin continued. “Yesterday I chipped a nail and she stuck it in the scrapbook next to a polaroid of my bedroom window at night.”

Lilly was not available for comment because she was already printing out this article to stick in her scrapbook.

Zoë Tomalin

Zoë is a comedian and assistant producer of TV shows, including ‘Room 101’. She is a former member of the Cambridge Footlights and regularly performs as part of high-energy deadpan sketch outfit, Siân & Zoë. Despite her novelty pink hair, Zoë is an insufferable nihilist, but none of this matters.