Health & Fitness

New fad diet consists of only Facebook likes

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Fad diets are usually solitary, self-loathing-filled pursuits, but not anymore! 2018’s hottest diet trend lets you lose weight, while keeping on top of your social life. The new diet, which is approved by up to 1% of doctors, encourages participants to subsist exclusively on Facebook likes.

Dr. Simon Hatson, 43, a nutritionist who earned his PhD by paying $15, plus printer ink costs to, created The Zuckerberg Diet.

He explained: “That endorphin hit you get when you receive approval in the form of a like or share on social media is made of energy.”

“That energy can be transformed so that it not only feeds your soul, but lines your stomach. Nobody knows how it works, it just does.”

Sarah Peterson, 29, an eager follower of The Zuckerberg Diet, said: “It’s amazing that no matter how many likes you get, you never put on any weight.”

“If I get really hungry, I can always treat myself to a retweet, or an Instagram like.”

Sarah then ran out of energy to talk to us.

Sara Gibbs

Sara is editor-in-chief of Succubus. Sara studied Writing & Producing Comedy at the NFTS and has written for The Now Show, Dead Ringers, The News Quiz, The Daily Mash and The Mash Report. Sara makes it her business to be at least five years behind the latest trends, so she can devote more time to her Tamagotchi.