Myth Debunked! Claims that millennials have lower attention span than previous generations greatly exager- oooh a meme!

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There’s been tons of think pieces dedicated to slagging off millennials and their supposed short attention spans, but a new study shows that in fact… ooh sorry… phone… I’m waiting on a … just an Instagram notification… never mind… sorry… where was I?

Right, yes! A study by Newcastle University suggests that the younger generation has just as much capacity for… sorry… phone again… oh god, I need to turn off my news alerts, it’s never goodnews is it? It’s always something… Sorry, side tracked again…

What was I talking about?

Millennials! Right, millennials!

Despite what many think, this latest study shows that us millennials are just as good at focusing and being productive as… really, really sorry, one sec… just need to turn the notifications off for this group chat, it’s really distracting! OK…. done!

Back. To. The. ARTICLE!

So, this study… basically the scientists found that… shit is that the time! Fuck, deadline for this is like NOW… erm OK… right…

So, in short! Study finds our attention spans are, like, fine! That’s more or less it right?

Yeah, that’ll have to do. Shit.



"Your daughter shows an aptitude for reading and writing, but can get wriggly during carpet time" was what Billie's year two teacher wrote on her report card back in 1997. In her 26-year existence, no combination of words have gotten closer to articulating the essence of Billie's soul.